Personal empowerment often plays a big role in the quality of your relationships because of the beliefs and behaviors you express in your interactions with others.
If you've ever expected a relationship to somehow "complete" you or make you feel strong or whole, you probably experienced disappointment and frustration as it seemed to cause bigger problems in your life.
There are several reasons why personal empowerment is important in relationships:
1) Other people sense the way you feel about yourself and treat you accordingly.
Have you ever noticed that other people seem to pick up on subtle cues and reflect your own beliefs back to you? For example, if you lack confidence, you'll often find yourself encountering aggressive or intimidating people who seem to exacerbate those feelings. If you don't have a healthy level of respect for yourself, you'll probably encounter plenty of people who don't respect you either.
This is no accident! People tend to sense your inner beliefs based on your demeanor and body language, and gear their behavior to match.
When you're empowered and strong, you communicate that essence to others, and others will treat you as such, resulting in healthier relationships.
2) You'll notice in others the things you dislike about yourself.
Have you ever heard of "projecting"your own perceptions and beliefs onto others? A lack of self-love within yourself will often cause you to believe that others don't love you either. A lack of confidence in yourself will attract people that you struggle to place your confidence in also!
When you are empowered and confident, you'll end up attracting others who both see you that way and embody the same qualities themselves.
3) You'll constantly look to others for reassurance and validation.
When you don't feel empowered or confident, you'll constantly seek reassurance and validation from the people around you. Rather than feeling self-assured, you’ll appear to be needy and insecure, which will place a drain on your relationship and push others away from you.
Remember that empowerment is an inside job! You need to give yourself love, respect and confidence first if you want to also receive it from others.
Fulfilling and satisfying relationships require that both partners are empowered and balanced before entering into them. When you empower yourself from within, you bring a stronger element of genuine love, respect and intimacy to your relationships and stop seeking validation from outside sources. Ultimately, this ensures that your connections with others will be deeper, richer and more meaningful.
© 2007 Maureen Oliver
www.affirmations-for-success.com
Irene’s new boss is giving her a hard time. She’s not sleeping well, so she is cranky and in no mood to listen to Alex talk about his day. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t stay focused. Alex feels hurt and goes out for the evening by himself.
Norm’s roommateis creating a lot of stress in their relationship. He doesn’t want to break his date with Kristy. While Norm usually enjoys Kristy’s playful kidding, tonight it infuriates him and he explodes.
Corina and her best friend Sally had such a heated argument that she heads to the mall to cool off. There, she loses track of time and doesn’t show up for her dinner date with Sam.
Terri is so overwrought by tensions with her mother that she just goes through the motions at work, and accomplishes nothing—a fact that infuriates her boss.
Stephanie is so jumpy and agitated after fighting with her husband that coworkers don’t want to be near her. She thinks her colleagues dislike her, but they are just trying to avoid the waves of negative energy that radiate from her cubicle.
Recall some of the sounds of nature: possibly bird calls, flowing water, or the sound of the wind rustling leaves. 
Recall the feel of a baby’s skin or the softness of a puppy or kitten.
Fred experienced emotional and physical pain early in life, and is determined to keep his family together. But his wife is threatening divorce. In a bestseller, Fred found steps for changing his behavior and opening a relationship discussion with his wife. Sadly, most of what Fred relays about his good intentions is lost, since his nonverbal communication—the true language of love—speaks only of his needs and ignores hers.
Allison gets attention for her good looks and sense of humor, but she never feels comfortable with herself. She has read many books on what men want, she dates a lot, but each time she finds someone she really likes, he stops calling within a short time. She blames those who disappoint her, but it doesn’t realize that her inability to relax and appear interested in others cause of her relationship problems.
Alexis, whose mother was depressed when she was young, has a degree from one of the most prestigious law schools in the country. She normally looks and acts like someone in charge of herself, but she has an Achilles' heel. Alexis's inability to confront conflict has sidetracked her career. In spite of therapy, coaching, and good intentions to the contrary, she remains stuck and unable to advance.
Stress shuts down your ability to feel, to think rationally, and to be emotionally available to another person, essentially blocking good communication until both you and your partner feel safe enough to focus on one another. This damages the relationship. Being able to regulate stress allows you to remain emotionally available. 
The most powerful forms of communication contain no words, and take place at a much faster rate than speech. Using nonverbal communication is the way to attract others’ attention and keep relationships on track. Eye contact, facial expression, tone of voice, posture, gesture, touch, intensity, timing, pace, and sounds that convey understanding engage the brain and influence others much more than your words alone. 
Conflict in relationships can be a deal breaker and a heart breaker. Two people can’t possibly always have the same needs, opinions and expectations—and that needn’t be a bad thing! But when conflict is resolved in a healthy way, it can be a cornerstone for trust between people. When conflict isn’t perceived as threatening or punishing, it fosters freedom, creativity, trust and safety in relationships. 